I got a card about a week ago and I have read it several times since then for encouragement and strength. For the past few weeks I've been in this "emotional rut". I don't know how it started or why. I just know that things seem to be getting harder for me and I've been feeling so lazy and unmotivated. I almost feel like I'm crashing from the first 3 months of non-stop work and constant movement. It takes so much of me, just to do a blog post. I did the collection challenge last week to get me motivated and post something that makes me smile. I know my blog is only about 25% of what is actually going on in my life. I try to stay positive and be that upbeat blogger and not bring negativity to my little space, this is where I go to escape .. not wallow in my self-pity. I'm sorry if you haven't heard from me on your blog and if I haven't left you any love. I'm working at getting better at that and get out of this funk.
(card I got)
Maybe it's because it has rained for the past 3 weeks.. not the good, *hide under my covers and watch the lightning and hear the thunder* rain.. but the muggy, drizzle that makes me go BLEH!
Maybe it's the changing of the season, Fall is one of my most favorite seasons, but I also know this only leads to Winter.. which is one of my least favorite seasons. Unfortunately, North Dakota only gets a few weeks of Fall before the snow season.
I find myself getting upset over every little thing and comment made, when normally it would be overlooked and forgotten almost immediately. I know a lot of people and friends have been feeling very similar thoughts to mine, it's good to know I'm not alone in how I feel. I have had rude awakenings these past few weeks on some people and I hate when I think highly of someone and it just turns out to be a disappointment. I guess I just feel worn down and defeated.
I have been desperately missing my hubby these past few weeks too. I know I'm past the halfway mark, but it's still hard. It was hard enough him not being here for his birthday, our anniversary, and my birthday. Hayden's birthday is next week and Kaylee's is next month, and he won't be here for either. I know this is hard for him too. It's just hard seeing Hayden ask when his Dad is getting back and looking so disappointed when I tell him a few more months. It breaks my heart. I just want to hug him again, see his work shoes in our closet, and his clothes in our laundry. I want to hear the sound of his truck pulling into the driveway and the kids running to the door to greet him. I want him home.
I find it hard to open up and let my emotional side out on this blog, I guess mainly because of the rebuttal I am putting myself out there for.
I guess what I am asking for is your prayers.. prayers for patience, understanding and strength. I know that I will get past this and things will get better. I'm just anxious for it to get there already.
Thanks for reading my thoughts and feelings.