Monday, October 18, 2010

Forgiveness

I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. Whether it be a friend, family or even someone you don't know that well, it can be one of the hardest things to do. Why something so important, is so hard for me to do, I will never understand. I know that anger is a ball (so to speak) of  wasted energy that has no place to go, but to harbor inside of oneself. Why grudges? What's the point? It's much easier to move past things, but why, knowing how much easier it will be, is it so hard to get to that point?
Wikipedia defines Forgiveness as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender it leads to improved functioning in their cardiovascular and nervous systems. Another study found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. The less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.
Doesn't that first part sound harsh? I find it does. I know it's unhealthy and I know it just causes unhappiness and who wants to be either? This is one of those things I have been struggling with lately and know in my heart I can eventually get past. Why does it take so long? Why can't I just be like Emeril "BAM!" and it all be forgotten! 

 I find when I get things out in the open, become vulnerable, I find obstacles easier to conquer. It's a marker in my life that I can now move past because all my feelings are out and in the open. I know that I'm not the only one who feels these same thoughts and has the same struggles. It's comforting to know I'm not alone and we all deal with the same everyday things in life. I love you readers!! Thanks for listening to me, even if I don't make sense or my thoughts can be jumbled. 
Thank you for listening (reading).

xoxo 

18 comments:

  1. You are definitely not alone! I am right there with you girl :) Sometimes I also find that forgiving and forgetting are two totally differnet things. Forgiveness is a must, but forgetting tends to be the hard part for me.
    I love you!!!
    ox
    janel

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  2. This must be a Leo thing. (I'm a Leo, too). I have such an issue with forgiving people once they have done me wrong. It is easy for me to avoid that friendship. I'm too strung out to ever work on a relationship that has a sour note.

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  3. I'm the exact same way Janel wrote. I forgive & forgive & forgive but I never ever forget.

    I have a tendency to let people walk all over me time & time again & then it'll happen one more time & I suddenly just lose it & it's curtains & I can't go back.

    Some fairly recent events happened that have caused me to be very guarded now & therefore, I am completely unable to write about a lot of personal things in my life on my blog because I know that these people read it & check up on me (ie: snoop) so I am scared they'll spread more lies & say more mean things to mutual friends so I keep everything locked away deep inside.

    It hurts to be burned by people you care about and/or trust which is why when someone really does a job on me emotionally, I have a hard time bouncing back from that. I try but I often fail because once you break that trust with me, it's hard to really go back & think of them the way they were "before" whatever happened happened.

    That said, I am there for you & fully support you & understand. You're not alone!

    xoxoxoxo

    p.s. I finally finished your letter today so it'll be going in the mail tomorrow <3<3<3

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  4. Oh my...this is all so true. First...im sorry your going though this Lindsay. What a bummer.
    Cuppy...I totally understand what you are talking about. Been there...have been through that.
    Be strong. Know that you are loved. We aren't perfect. I just love all people and know that my intentions are for the best. Since my salvation and attending our current church my life has changed sooo much. Ill pray for you and your situation. You are who are you suppose to be. I have realized that not everybody is going to like everybody. I just love them and pray for them. There is so much more to life than drama. Satan always wants our thoughts and actions off of the Lord so he causes these distractions. It will get better. Also there are seasons of friendships...they serve a purpose for that chapter in your life and then you start the next. Don't take offense, forgive and move past...forgetting unfortunately take a little bit longer.
    Have a great one Lindsay!!!!

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  5. Its great that you can show a vunerable side like this. To be honest that is the part I struggle with the most. Being able to forgive someone is the first step towards recovery. You can never forget something if you havent forgiven it first. You are an amazing woman with a heart filled with love and kindness and I know you want to share that love and kindness with the world. I think that forgiving, and eventually forgetting, are key in any kind of relationship, co-worker, friend or loved one. Of course the hard part is finding it in you to forgive. I hope that you can because I want to see you happy and healthy. Dont feel like you are alone. Everyone struggles with forgiveness at some point in their lives. You have a wonderful group of friends and family that will help you and be by your side every step of the way. I love you and I always will.

    Joseph

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  6. Thank you for sharing Lindsay ~ You are amazing and I am forever grateful to know you!
    Lots of love and hugs your way!
    xoxo~
    Tiffany

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  7. Hey Linds, I know what you are talking about. Sometimes, unfortunatly there are people in our lives that are just there to case drama and heartache and those are the people you have to remove yourself from. It is very hard to forgive and even harder to forget, sometimes the people you forgive keep reminding you why they needed your forgiveness in the first place. Let it go, erase the bad from your life and move on. There are a lot of people who know exactly what you are feeling right now and if you need to talk I am here, you still have my number(at least I hope so)! Love ya!
    xoxo~Meg

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  8. I'd say it's a Leo thing...but I just think it's a human thing. I think we all struggle with forgiving others...and forgiving ourselves. It's one of the hardest things that God commanded us to do.
    You're definitely not alone with this!

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  9. Wow, great food for thought! Thanks I needed this today!

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  10. I used to hold grudges, and I lost a lot of friends. I wasn't a happy person, and people didn't like being around me. (I don't think that's your problem, though.) I don't remember when it happened, but I learned to let go and forgive people. We're all imperfect. I try to tell myself that any time someone hurts my feelings. I'm much happier now.

    Its harder to forgive people who deliberately hurt you. Most of the time, I just stay away from those people and realize they probably weren't raised as well as I was. Mean-hearted people often cannot see the good in life, even after you try repeatedly to point it out to them. Instead of being offended and hurt by them, I feel bad for them. I try to remember any time they try to hurt me that they only see the negative and it CAN'T bring me down. Most of the time that works. Plus, I don't take life too seriously anymore. :)

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  11. Thank You.
    This post came right on time!

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  12. Following from the blog hop. Hope you can stop by and check out my blog and some giveaways I have going on. Love your blog!
    God Bless,
    Shelley
    http://mylifeadventurebyme.blogspot.com/2010/10/blog-hoppin_21.html

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  13. Cute blog! I'm a new follower through Hop Along Friday. Hope to see you around my blog sometime...

    http://vandylandmommy.blogspot.com

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  14. Hello! I am a new follower thanks to the Friendly Friday Follow! I look forward to reading your blog!

    You can find me at kennedymomandwife.blogspot.com. Hope you stop by!

    Have a great weekend!
    Crystal
    My Life as Mom and Wife

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  15. What great quotes!

    I'm a new follower from Hop along Friday.
    Hope you'll check out my blog as well.
    http://mylifeinjenga.blogspot.com

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  16. Hi, new follower from Friendly Friday! I find that I just don't have time to carry those grudges...life is way too short not to forgive. Human nature makes it difficult to forget and, personally, I think remembering things keeps us alert and prevents situations from repeating themselves. Doesn't mean we can't forgive--it's not like carrying a grudge will change people anyway so why do that to ourselves? Have a great weekend!

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  17. grl i think u should look up the song & lyrics to "the heart of the matter" by don henley. it helps me NEway

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